Monday, January 26, 2009
Late...
I need to update this blog. It has been well over 3 month since the last time that I have updated. There is a reason, though.
I hated Costa Rica. While I was there, all I could think about was getting home. I did not necessarily enjoy the people, the culture and all that stuff that you are supposed to. I wanted to go home every day since the end of September. Simply put, it was the toughest thing that I have ever had to do.
I was also frustrated by constant requests for attention and updates. This was my experience, and well I wanted to do with it what I wanted. If that meant going off the map for a few weeks, then that is what I wanted to do. The way I saw it, if I wanted to share my experience or pictures, I would. I know that is not the way I was supposed to think, but it was. When I look back, I realize and know that people want to know about your experiences because they know, love and care about you.
In trying to deal with my depression, I started writing and drawing in my journal. It was private, which is what I wanted. I did not want to share my depression and frustration with the world on a public forum like a blog. The journal suited me just fine. Another suggestion that I got was to simply stop updating this blog (which became such a hassle for me). Anthony told me that my well being, growth, peace of mind and solitude was more important that the constant pressure of having to update my life for everyone else's good, not my own. So, I stopped.
I know this blog will probably fall quite short of the expectations, and those of others. However, the experience for me was important. Now that I am back, I love to talk about it. I want to do it on my own terms, when I want to, not because I am required to for a study abroad grant.
So, if you would like to ask me about it, talk Costa Rica, or see pictures, lets get together and do it. Let's get coffee, lets hang out for the afternoon. Not something impersonal over the internet
I hated Costa Rica. While I was there, all I could think about was getting home. I did not necessarily enjoy the people, the culture and all that stuff that you are supposed to. I wanted to go home every day since the end of September. Simply put, it was the toughest thing that I have ever had to do.
I was also frustrated by constant requests for attention and updates. This was my experience, and well I wanted to do with it what I wanted. If that meant going off the map for a few weeks, then that is what I wanted to do. The way I saw it, if I wanted to share my experience or pictures, I would. I know that is not the way I was supposed to think, but it was. When I look back, I realize and know that people want to know about your experiences because they know, love and care about you.
In trying to deal with my depression, I started writing and drawing in my journal. It was private, which is what I wanted. I did not want to share my depression and frustration with the world on a public forum like a blog. The journal suited me just fine. Another suggestion that I got was to simply stop updating this blog (which became such a hassle for me). Anthony told me that my well being, growth, peace of mind and solitude was more important that the constant pressure of having to update my life for everyone else's good, not my own. So, I stopped.
I know this blog will probably fall quite short of the expectations, and those of others. However, the experience for me was important. Now that I am back, I love to talk about it. I want to do it on my own terms, when I want to, not because I am required to for a study abroad grant.
So, if you would like to ask me about it, talk Costa Rica, or see pictures, lets get together and do it. Let's get coffee, lets hang out for the afternoon. Not something impersonal over the internet
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